bond_of_union-Escher

“Bond of Union” by M.C. Escher

Tong and I were married on May 24, 2015 on the steps of the Yorktown-Poquoson courthouse in a small ceremony where the marriage officiant performed the nuptials and did some additional readings too. One that was particularly meaningful goes as follows: Love is the reason we are here. In marriage we not only say, “I love you today” but also, “I promise to love you for all of our tomorrows.” Brian and Tong, in the days ahead of you, there will be stormy times and good times, times of conflict and times of joy. I ask you to remember this advice: Never go to bed angry; let your love be stronger than your anger. Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend than to break. Believe the best of your beloved rather than the worst. Confide in your partner and ask for help when you need it. Remember that true friendship is the basis for any lasting relationship. Give your spouse the same courtesies and kindnesses you bestow on your friends. Say “I love you” every day.”

Brian&Tong-wed

Two Become One – May 24, 2015

On a very personal note, I couldn’t help wonder where this woman had been most of my life – she is one of the kindest, even tempered, and patient woman I have ever known. She remained consistently present and part of my life through our courtship from a distance (she in China and me in the USA) and is never critical of me, though she does influence in her own way some avenues in which I can improve that I see as positive and very much welcomed. I think she sees in me the man aspire to be, but gently persuades in a direction and demeanor I appreciate. I consider myself fortunate to have a partner like Tong to go through life with now. On top of all that she’s mighty attractive too and I love her dearly. Whatever the twists and turns of life ahead we will have each other and our union is a fortunate one for both of us in togetherness. I am reminded of a stanza from the Jim Croce song “Time in a Bottle” that goes:

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty, except for the memory of how
They were answered by you

I’ve covered the details and process to got us to this day in some previous blogs:
Looking Forward III (Jan 2014)
Life Notes 2015 (Feb 2015)
Dragons and Tigers and Sheep – oh my! (Apr 2015)

After our marriage, we have since applied to adjust Tong’s status to ‘permanent resident’. There are a lot of forms and supporting documents to go along with such an application and it came in at close to 50 pages of stuff. Frankly, I find this sort of ridiculous, but governments and bureaucracies excel at this sort of morass. I have some opinions and thoughts on this topic which have been brewing for some time, being a federal employee myself, but I will save it for another time. This blog is for a time of celebration and happiness to share…

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